Dating and rejection advice

Whether it’s summoning up the courage to go flirt with the cute girl at the party or finally mustering up the nerve to ask out the co-worker that you’ve been interested in for the longest time, fear of being rejected keeps most people from ever making that critical first step.Notice very carefully that I said it’s the of rejection – more than the rejection itself – that causes people to hesitate.Face-to-face rejection feels more personal, because… It’s horrible being turned down, but we must respect a person’s right to decline. Don’t try to punish them for wounding your feelings. They are both inevitable parts of life that everyone has to deal with.Most women have this inexplicable need to make every guy want them and then they get upset when they find one who doesn’t and start to wonder what’s wrong with them.

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There will be people who don’t get you or who don’t like your look but none of that matters.This installment of Dating With Science (or, more accurately, Not Dating With Science) is about why rejection feels more like a jellyfish attack than a social setback, and what you can do about it other than just blubbering incoherently until the Rapture comes.So, you’ve worked up the courage to ask someone on a date, and they’ve said: ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’ Or you’ve spent ages constructing the perfect email to someone on a dating website, and you don’t even get a reply. It can be painful and embarrassing, it can batter your confidence – it can even put you off approaching anyone ever again!If you end up in a place where you fear rejection, you’ll start to anticipate it and then you’ll be more likely to be rejected, thus confirming your initial prediction and affirming your belief that anyone you like won’t like you, which may pave the way for more rejection and on and on the vicious cycle goes.It took me a really long time to learn to deal with rejection, and it’s something that I still need to work on to this day even though I’m a relationship writer and am supposed to have some degree of expertise in this area.

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